hey there,
i just got seriously knocked down!
my last post “what is the god wound?” describing the beautiful california morning… that was right before a huge viral upgrade hit my body
days of fever, a cough of doom, barely able to move – that’s how i spent four days
but those four days weren’t just vacation time in a special place, they were the final four days of a training that i was supporting, with a group i have been journeying with for many years – it was our last week together… and i had to be separate from the group during the closing days
(i also missed holding a special event that i was excited to facilitate)
in other words, it stunk.
… or did it?
***
i want to use my experience to illustrate some of the ways “the god wound” can show up in life
#1 – here’s one example of how i could have made meaning about this experience:
“i must be doing something wrong, i must be bad – maybe i haven’t been doing enough, or doing things right, and i deserve to be punished by this terrible sickness”
→ this storyline stems from a myth that our higher power is always looking for us to mess up (sin), so we can be punished
#2 – here’s a second example:
“this always happens to me, i always get screwed by life, i shouldn’t even try to do anything because it always gets ruined”
→ this storyline stems from a myth that our higher power doesn’t support us, and life shouldn’t be trusted because we are a victim to it’s careless whims
***
are you starting to see how sneaky the god wound can be? all kinds of beliefs about ourselves and life can be wrapped up in distortions related to our higher power
but i am celebrating that i did not go down either of these thought paths during my time as sick-o-to-the-max
nope – i kept asking the sovereign questions, “how is this for me? what might be the purpose of this forced pause? if i have everything i want – why might i want this?”
and guess what – Spirit gave me tons of answers!
… like, wow clarity
i needed four days to digest what was showing up in my awareness
thanks to some amazing support from friends who were part of this training, i got to dig into areas of my being that needed attention
one of the huge pieces that came forward was this: in being down-for-the-count, this community took care of me
i had been caring so much for this community, and now, they got to give back to me
asking for help and receiving care wasn’t easy at first – but by day three i was able to receive all the love coming my way – so i even asked for a bouquet of flowers… because i knew they would be helpful for my healing
what a gift i gave to others who got to be there for me through this challenging experience
thanks to the perspective shift i’ve had about my higher power, all this was possible
and now, my immune system is stronger than ever!
***
if this is speaking to you – let me know!
much love,
aria