I wanted to send a follow-up message after my pregnancy announcement earlier today, to acknowledge that while many have reason to celebrate Mother’s Day, many have a different relationship to “mother.”
Today – for a variety of reasons – might bring up pain.
Maybe your mom was/is unavailable, either because of physical separation through adoption, foster care, or death, or because of addiction, depression, or other emotional reasons.
Some of us had/have abusive mothers, mothers who were/are chronically stressed because of poverty or unresolved traumas, or other ways that the energy of “momma” wasn’t/isn’t there.
Or, if you are a woman who has experienced miscarriage, abortion, or loss of a child, today may also bring up difficult feelings.
And on…
If you are experiencing something other than love and celebration in relation to your mom or motherhood – you are not to blame. (And neither is she, because blame just doesn’t work.)
Try This Instead
Since blame doesn’t help healing, what does?
For “mother wound” related pain, I recommend activating your own “inner mother” – a part of you who can help self-parent your inner child. (Of course, an “inner father” is a great addition to help with re-parenting too!)
Anyone can activate these parts of self, or “archetypal” energies within. It may be helpful to find something outside of yourself to model your Inner Mother on – whether it’s someone you personally know, an ancestor like a grandmother, a divine feminine energy like Mother Mary, Quan Yin, or Yemaja, an aspect of nature such as a mother deer or Earth herself, or the Great Mother.
When you attune to the “ideal mother” outside of yourself, it can help contact the part of you who contains a similar resonance.
From there, you can work with the pain by asking your inner mother to hold it, and you. (And you can ask for help from any external energy, like those above, that helps you feel mothered.)
Perhaps you wish to create sacred space for a healing process with this as a guide – clear your area, light a candle, clear with smudge, and set an intention. Open and close with gratitude, and trust yourself!
As always, if you need support, I am here to answer questions or guide a process. This is recommended if you have something that feels difficult to approach by yourself – too heavy or too much.
Please lean in – there is no blame for not knowing what to do by yourself. Simply reply to this email and we can schedule a Mother Wound Healing Session.
Many blessings,
Aria